A long day’s journey into perimenopause
A story I am reworking until further notice to make it easier to follow, check back for updates.
I was just a Gen X girly struggling with COVID depression and panic, trying everything she could to fix her sleep patterns. I hadn’t slept well since about April of 2020. This was not new to me. I had suffered from insomnia for about the first 30 years of my life until a doctor noticed I was clinically depressed. We tried SSRIs, found one that worked, and to my surprise I discovered what 8 hours of uninterrupted sleep is like for all the “normal” people. But that is another story for another day.
May 2022
I was back to the living HELL that is insomnia. Can’t fall asleep, and when I finally bullied my own mind into sleep, it woke my body up about every 2 hours for a snack, potty break, or just to ceiling gazing for a few hours(hey, we got bored of navel-gazing, give us a break).
On the advice of my partner, I tried an edible…this is where it all started to go off the rails.
I was getting cozy and sleepy for about the first 30 minutes, getting all of my pillows and blankets in order. Then the dizziness hit, followed by flushing, sweating, severe anxiety, and a racing heart(180 bpm sitting still); as one Tik Toker put it, “Imagine having every thought you’ve had in your whole life…
